Sunday, January 27, 2008

Rock of Love II-Week 3

Ok, let me start off by saying that in the previous post I forgot to include Jessica as one of the contestants that made the cut, which was because she's a total wallflower and just blends in with the furniture. She's not a true threat yet, so no big deal.

Anyway, this week started simply with the girls having to go through a little test. The test? To make sure that Bret's "baby" doesn't get hurt. You see, Bret's baby is a plastic doll dressed in a bandanna and one of his patented cowboy hats. The challenge is to do three laps around this roller rink with the baby in a stroller, while you have the Los Angeles roller girls chasing you along with...Lacy Collins. You know, Lacy from the first season: the total bitch that was a psycho that made up everything as she went along in the house day by day trying to kill Jes then Heather. The women have to protect the baby and nearby is a "doctor" (Doctor is actually anything but) who hooks the baby up to a machine which can tell him how much damage the doll had done to it.

So the first team is the Pink team, who was Catherine (guh), Daisy, Destiney and Megan. They make Catherine the stroller pusher at first, since she has kids and apparently this makes her more nurturing of a plastic children's toy that is being chased by crazy bull dykes. No one on the team can skate at all, and they're only given a 5 second head start from the pro skaters, so that combination just screams "Death". As all of the pink team goes flailing to the ground, the roller girls just DESTROY the baby, kicking it and throwing the stroller, which Lacy coming out of no where to start PUNCHING THE BABY IN THE HEAD REPEATEDLY. The results will be revealed after I give the description of the other teams.

The Red team consists of Roxy, Jessica, Ambre and Peyton. Peyton pushes the stroller, and she's not that bad as a skater, but yet again none of the other girls can skate. A little into lap two, the pros catch up to Peyton and one of them rips the doll's arm off. After that event on the baby, really no more damage has taken place, but still the baby is sans a limb. Finally team Blue comes up, who are Inna, Kristy Joe, Angelique and Aubrey. Kristy Joe is the stroller pusher, who apparently does that all the time with her kids (She has kids?!) and absolutely dominates the event. Their strategy was to actually have the other three flop down and try to stop the pros and Lacy, which works quite well until RIGHT before the end of the challenge, when one of the pros catches Kristy Joe and kicks the stroller and nearly give Kristy Joe a concussion.

In the end, the "doctor" concluded that if the baby was real, Pink Team's baby would have died, Red Team's would have serious issues (Really? The lost limb wasn't evident enough?) and Team Blue's would be fine after about 4-5 years of both physical and mental therapy. Blue team wins, with Kristy Joe being named the MVP, and Inna, Angelique and Aubrey go out on a date with Bret with Kristy Joe getting her own private date the next day. Later on after the challenge, Kristy Joe joked around with Destiney and Daisy that it was Catherine's fault that they lost because Catherine wasn't a good skater, and they naturally turn it into some big deal saying that Kristy is talking shit about everyone. All those that are in the house turn on Kristy Joe, saying that she's ugly and doesn't belong there and should just go home.

While the drama goes on in the house, Inna, Angelique and Aubrey go on their date with Bret to the Fourty Duex burlesque bar. Somehow another challenge breaks out, with all the girls having to dance for Bret. Inna is first, and although she can't dance for shit she looks sexy as fuck. Aubrey was the opposite, dancing fantastically but with no sex appeal. Angelique...is a train wreck. She can't grasp the fact that during a burlesque show, the woman does NOT get naked. She takes off all of her clothes and looks horrible doing so, and all four of them get kicked out.

Kristy Joe was allowed to pick what their date was going to be, and she chose a quiet barbecue dinner, which she cooked, at the house. Here, two bombshells happen: First, Kristy Joe forgot to tell the producers that she is still TECHNICALLY MARRIED! I don't know how she got into the show without the producers finding this out, but she's apparently just in the process of getting divorced from her first husband. So while Bret recovers from this, Destiney walks over to table and hands to Bret her VIP pass, which gives her the opportunity to have 10 minutes alone with Bret whenever she feels like it, and Kristy Joe just has to walk away from her date. After Destiney and Bret are done making out, Kristy comes back and tries to have a conversation with Bret. Right after they start talking again, Daisy tries to pull the same crap Destiney did. Bret makes it very clear he's not having it, and tells Daisy to scram. Bret talks to Kristy and understands that the girls now see her as a threat.

-Kristy Joe seems at some points like she's a shoo-in for the winner spot, but the commercials for next week make it look like she's done. She's crying during elimination (Sam?) and everyone is yelling at her during the previews. She's so hot, so funny, but she doesn't seem stable at all (Sam.) and that's probably going to do her in. God damn it.

During eliminations, I thought for sure that Jessica and Roxy were gone. Neither had established themselves, and everyone else has been on Bret's lap or making out with him every night. I was half right. Roxy left, which pissed me off because she is so damn sexy and she seems like a great woman with a intelligent head on her shoulders. The other one to leave tonight WAS...

Angelique. Thank. You. God.

Next week, well, there IS NO ROCK OF LOVE II. Understandably, since a little game they're calling the "Super Bowl" is going on. I'm probably going to watch it, since I like football, and we all have to support the event because if we don't who knows if they'll bring it back next year?! Sarcasm dripping off of that last rant, btw. Show will be back in two weeks, people.

Cut: Angelique, Roxy.

Still Here: Megan, Jessica, Ambre, Catherine, Kristy Joe, Inna, Destiney, Daisy, Aubrey, Peyton.

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