My All-Star game votes

Dwight Howard reminds you that he's a beast

I know the season is young, but I'm going to offer my picks for the NBA All-Star game, as of 11/16:

WEST:

Guard: Kobe Bryant-28.6 PPG, 7.9 RPG, 5 APG
Argue this, I dare you.

Guard: Baron Davis-25.5 PPG, 4.2 RPG, 9 APG
Although the Warriors are struggling (Mightily) it's not due to his play at all. I can't dock Davis for the fact that his team is in its current state. This will probably change in about 3 weeks or so when he goes down with another serious injury. Brandon Roy is my backup pick here.

Forward-Carmelo Anthony-25.7 PPG, 5 RPG, 5.2 APG
Let me start off by saying I hate, hate Carmelo. He's a little bitch that punches Mardy Collins then runs away from the fight. He should be embarrassed and Baltimore should have shown the nation how tough it is by killing 20 people in his name the next day. That happens everyday, anyway, but not necessarily in 'Melos name. I'm conflicted with giving Melo credit with Denver's success (isn't that somewhat hypocritical when I said the Warriors plight should have no impact on Baron?) so I'm just going to stick to his numbers. I still wish his rebounds came up a little though.

Forward-Al Jefferson-20.2 PPG, 11.5 RPG, 1.3 APG
Damn, he's a player. While Boston is on fire right now with KG, Pierce, and Jesus running the floor, Minnesota is stacked for the future, with this guy leading the charge. He's 22 years old, a force in the paint, and from all reports a good guy (I know, has no weight on All-Star voting, hopefully). That being said, he probably won't be picked for the game, with the fans instead taking a retread with a more familiar name. Besides, he got my vote, which is a kiss of death. Al Harrington is my backup pick.

Center-Yao Ming-24 PPG, 10.3 RPG, 2.2 BPG, 3.1 APG
Is his last name "yao" or "Ming"? His jersey says "Yao", he's listed under "Yao" on NBA.com, but his name is "Yao Ming". I'm the first to admit I'm not culture savvy, so please tell me what I'm missing. More surprising than the last name debate is the fact that I had to REALLY think about this, because of the play OF...Chris Kaman. Chris-fucking-Kaman. The guy's line is 18.1 PPG, 14.3 RPG, 2.1 BPG, 1.4 APG, along with still the worst hair in the league. Clippers fan don't like him, and when I used to like the Clippers I never saw him play any defense. Is it a contract year for him or something? What the hell happened? Is this years race just weak, and Kaman is facing Me and Calvin Booth?

EAST:

Guard-Ray Allen-20.6 PPG, 4.4 RPG, 3.6 APG
I'm a Knicks fan, too, so this side of the ballot was a real pain in the ass. Allen should have been broken down by now, but somehow Jesus has prevailed and still is able to walk. I'm somewhat relieved in the fact that he'll eventually get injured, and the Knicks will only lose by 15 when they face the Allen-less Celts. By the way, the guards of the East were my most difficult decisions.

Guard-Joe Johnson-21.9 PPG, 4.4 RPG, 6 APG
Johnson, the same dick that wanted out from the Suns because he wasn't "The Man" (How dare former MVP Steve Nash get the credit?!) is now the Man in the rising Hawks. He used to be the 1st, 2nd, 3rd, and some nights 4th option for this team during the really bad years, and now with Josh Smith, Marvin Williams, Lue, Sheldon (jk), and Horford (BTW, is it too late to switch my ROY selection, considering Law has been an apparent victim of kidnapping?) Johnson is The Man on a great team. Backup here is Michael Redd, a name I just picked out of a hat.

Forward-Kevin Garnett-21 PPG, 14 RPG, 4.9 APG, 1.4 BPG, 2.9 SPG, MVP
Next.

Forward-LeBron James-28 PPG, 7.6 RPG, 7.9 APG, 2 SPG
Someone get this man off of Cleveland. Please, can we start a hot line for this sort of abuse? At what point are we going to have a "Hands Across America" for the Cavaliers to either put an actual team around him or for them to let him move on to the Knicks...Anyway, I would have to say that Josh Smith is my back-up here, only because there's not a shot in hell he would overtake either of these two guys.

Center-Dwight Howard-21.9 PPG, 14.6 RPG, 1.8 APG, 2.6 BPG
This isn't even a contest. Curry is the second best option here, and he was benched for passionless play. By the way, lets put the Howard/Okefor debate during that daft up there with Leaf/Manning, only because Okefor is always hurt, and recently turned down an extension worth $57 mil. He's played about half of his games as a pro, yet he thinks he's worth more. Maybe he just wants to play for the Harlem D-League team so bad...